It is high time someone based a card game on the Bristol Stool Chart.

What is this wonderful chart? The Bristol Stool Chart is used by your doctor, and doctors around the globe, to rate the health of your poo.

Poo score from the chart:

  • 1    Separate hard lumps, like nuts (hard to pass)
  • 2    Sausage-shaped, but lumpy
  • 3    Like a sausage but with cracks on its surface
  • 4    Like a sausage or snake, smooth and soft
  • 5    Soft blobs with clear cut edges (passed easily)
  • 6    Fluffy pieces with ragged edges, a mushy stool
  • 7    Watery, no solid pieces. Entirely liquid

The Cards

Your deck consists of 56 cards: 28 value cards...

...and 28 action cards

Print this PDF of the entire deck, and cut your cards out


This game is similar to Uno.

Get rid of all your cards to win.

To start a hand, 8 cards are dealt to each player, and the top card of the deck is flipped over and set aside to start the discard pile.

  • If it is not an action card, the player to the dealer's left goes first
  • If it is an action card, dealer makes the action

A player takes a turn by discarding one card that matches the top one on the pile in colour and/or rank. Example:

  • You may place a green turd 5 card onto any green card or any turd 5 card
  • You may place a yellow on any yellow card or any

A player who has no matching cards must draw the top card from the deck and play it if possible. If not, the turn ends. Play proceeds clockwise around the table.

Action cards have the following effects:

Give someone two cards from your hand
Give someone three cards from your hand. Declare colour
Butthole: all other players draw 1 card from the deck in turn
You decide direction of play
You declare next colour to be matched
Swap hands with player of choice. Declare colour
Turn an attack back by playing this card immediately: Opponent must pick the number of cards he tried to force on you. Swap hands is prevented.
You declare colour, and play continues in its direction from your opponent

Joker: can be used as a simple Colour card: declare colour.
If you have only 1,2 or 3 other cards in your hand, play the Joker and announce game over. Least points in hand wins

To win First player to get rid of all his or her cards has won

Recycle If the deck is empty, take the discard stack minus its top card and shuffle these cards into a new deck

Choice You may choose not to play any card on your turn, even though you hold a playable card. Pick one up

Print your cards

Cards (PDF)
Backs for 56 cards (PDF)

Dude, what the hell

Made by Sune Watts, who should know better, september 2013.

Have fun!